My So-Called Life - Epiosde 12


Transcribed by Kevin Chen

"Self-Esteem" v.1.02 (last revision 4/1/95)
Season 1, Episode 12

Angela  = Angela Chase
Rayanne = Rayanne Graff
Sharon  = Sharon Cherski
Patty   = Patty Chase
Rickie  = Rickie Vasquez
Graham  = Graham Chase
Danielle= Danielle Chase
Brian   = Brian Krakow
Jordan  = Jordan Catalano
Hallie  = Hallie Lowenthal
Katimsky= Richard Katimsky, English teacher
Renee   = Renee Lerner, Geometry teacher
Mary Ann= Mary Ann Chataval, Biology teacher
Chuck   = Chuck Wood, Patty's father
Shane   = Shane, Jordan's friend
Aby     = Abyssinia
Troy    = Abyssinia's boyfriend (?)


Angela  : All over school, there are these certain places -- that are
          like reserved for certain people.
Sharon  : My biggest regret is -- breaking up with Kyle -- like, before
Angela  : You're not supposed to cross certain lines --
Troy    : Sin!  Hey, Abyssinia!
Angela  : It's this unwritten law -- like gravity or something.  Like
          in the basement near the north exit, there's this -- boiler room.
          where certain people will like go for like one reason.  I'd
          never been there -- ever -- in my life. [Angela and Jordan kiss] 
          I'm missing my geometry review.  I'm glad it's optional.
Katimsky: So you had to take over two English classes even though
          you're a math teacher?  Gee, whiz.
Renee   : Uh, well, it was just temporary until, you know, they could
          find someone.  Oh, it was terrifying.  I was never any good at --
          English.  Anyway, I'm glad that they finally -- hired you.  I mean --
          Angela Chase!  Why weren't you in geometry review?
Angela  : Oh, I thought it --
Renee   : Angela, you *need* this.  How are you going to pass your
Angela  : Um, y-yeah -- I thought it was optional, but [Jordan passes
          her in the hallway] -- I'll definitely -- oh, oh yeah, you know --
          [She disappears around a corner, following Jordan]
Renee   : It just breaks my heart, some of these girls.  I mean they
          are just so smart, and yet --
Mary Ann: It's called low self-esteem.
Renee   : Oh.
Mary Ann: Good morning.
Renee   : Hi.
Mary Ann: Hi, I'm Mary Ann Chataval.
Katimsky: Oh, hi.
Renee   : Oh, I'm sorry.  This is Richard Katimsky.  Uh, Richard is taking
          over the English classes they stuck me with.  Oh, by the way, if you
          have any questions about -- about anything -- I mean [bell rings]
Katimsky: Ah, oh, well.  To be continued.
Renee   : Oh, yes.  By the way, if you need anything, don't hesitate to --
Katimsky: Oh, really, thank you -- thanks.
Mary Ann: Renee, he's *adorable*!
Renee   : Sh!  Sh!
Mary Ann: But he is.
Renee   : I know.

Katimsky: Since this our first class together, I thought that I would start
          with one of my favorite sonnets by -- William Shakespeare.  So -- who
          would like to read this aloud?  Oh, gee whiz, it's going to take me a
          while to learn all these names.  Where is -- Enrique Vasquez?
Guy     : Oooh, Enrique!
Rickie  : Si, mi nombre es Enrique, and I want to leeve een Amereeca.

Rickie  : I'm transferring out.
Rayanne : No, don't.  Then we won't be in the same English class.
Rickie  : So, you never even *go* to English.
Rayanne : Well, in case I ever do.  Anyway, isn't Enrique like legally
          your name?
Rickie  : I don't care!  And he acts like he's this really nice guy,
          when *obviously* he's not.  And he takes these unbelievably long
          pauses, like -- okay, this is him. [starts doing an imitation of
          Katimsky] My name is -- Mr. -- ah -- Katimsky and here's a sonnet by
          William -- ah, Shakespeare who is almost as boring as I, Mr. -- ah
          [notices Katimsky watching him].  Oh, no.
Rayanne : See ya [bolts]
Katimsky: Enrique -- may I -- s-speak to you for a moment?

Rickie  : He actually asked me if I would consider joining drama club.
          He must have like no life.
Rayanne : So?  Neither do you.
Rickie  : I mean, drama club is something I could almost picture doing,
          if I was like really bored, or something.  But with him running it?
          Pass-ola.  Where did you get Chinese food?
Rayanne : Two words -- Tino.
Rickie  : So -- *guess* where Angela is.
Rayanne : I know where she is.
Rickie  : You know?  How do you know?
Rayanne : Because -- I live in the world.
Rickie  : It's so romantic.  They're like this couple now.
Rayanne : We'll see.

Patty   : Honey?  I'm home.  [Graham and Danielle ignore her.  Patty
          sighs] Please -- don't get up.
Graham  : Hi.
Patty   : I -- where's Angela?
Graham  : Reform school.
Patty   : Good.  Maybe she'll learn how to make her bed.
Graham  : I'm just reviewing some terms for the class tomorrow, so I can
          follow what -- um, a lot of the sauces are French.
Patty   : Graham, you'll be fine.  It isn't even an advanced course --
          it's intermediate.
Graham  : Yeah, but what's intermediate?  I mean, what if *I'm* not
          intermediate?  What if I'm not intermediate enough?
Danielle: What is medi-ocre?
Graham  : Look it up.
Angela  : Hi. [She hugs and kisses Patty]
Patty   : Well, hi.
Angela  : Hello. [She kisses and hugs Graham]
Graham  : Hello.
Patty   : So what have you been up to?
Angela  : Oh, studying for midterms.
Graham  : You hungry?
Angela  : Nope. [She leaves]
Patty   : Okay, now -- I *refuse* to panic just because she's happy.
Graham  : Although it is alarming.
Patty   : Oh, it's *terribly* alarming.

Angela  : Every night I make the same vow, that tomorrow I *will* go to
          geometry review.  But every day -- 

Angela  : We barely talked, and when we did, it came out sounding really
          meaningful. [to Jordan] There's a tiny leaf in your hair.
Jordan  : Where?

Jordan  : But is that your stomach or my stomach? [They both look down]

Angela  : Your cuticles look like little moons.
Jordan  : My what?
Angela  : Your cuticles.

Shane   : Catalano, you down here?
Jordan  : Shh.  The fact that we come here -- let's keep it like -- our
Angela  : Why?
Jordan  : No reason.
Shane   : Catalano -- what are you doing? [Jordan meets him at the top
          of the stairs]  Who you got in there?
Jordan  : Uh, just -- just a girl.
Shane   : Yeah?
Jordan  : Yeah.  [The friend starts boxing with him]  Get off!
Shane   : So, nobody?
Jordan  : Shut up.

Renee   : Very good.  Now, draw a circle, with two intersecting
          chords.  Now when two chords intersect inside a circle, the
          product of the segments of one chord equals what?
Angela  : My whole life became like divided.  Into kissing.  And -- not
          kissing.  Kissing, and -- *not* kissing.
Renee   : Once again, people, if you receive less than a seventy on
          this quiz, you should be attending my fifth period review sessions.
Angela  : In geometry I felt like a criminal.  I missed every review
          session, so I tried to be invisible.  It's surprisingly possible --
          you just sit in the back and keep quiet and let the boys
          shout out the answers, which they will, even if they're
          wrong.  Boys are less afraid -- of being wrong.
Renee   : [to Angela, who has received a 59] I'm not happy. [to
          Abyssinia, who has received a 98] Good job.
Guy     : Miss Lerner, can I ask you a question?
Renee   : Anyone with a question about their grade can speak to me tomorrow
          before class.
Troy    : Hey, Sin, what's up?
Aby     : Nothing.
Troy    : Man, I can't believe I have to go to this review session.  Why
          couldn't I just get four more points?  Then I would have had a
          seventy.  So, how 'bout you?  How'd you do?
Aby     : Sixty -- I guess I'll see you at review.
Renee   : Abyssinia, keep it up.
Aby     : She's just always trying to make me feel better, or something.
Troy    : Well, maybe I can help you.  I *did* get six more points than
Aby     : That's true. [They leave]
Renee   : Angela Chase.  How do you expect to pass your midterm?
Angela  : I'm really sorry, I --
Renee   : Sorry won't cut it.  I want to see you at tomorrow's review
          session?  Clear?
Angela  : Yes.

Rayanne : You should really consider having your lips frosted
Angela  : They feel like they *were*.
Rayanne : I noticed.  They look all like -- used.  But in a good way.
Angela  : Hey, Ray, don't tell anyone, okay?
Rayanne : That rhymed!  Tell anyone what?
Angela  : You know, that I'm meeting Jordan Catalano in the boiler room.
Rayanne : Why?
Angela  : Because he doesn't want people to like -- know about us --
          yet, or something.
Rayanne : Angela, you are letting Jordan Catalano -- like control you.
Angela  : What?  Who say's he's controlling me?  -- I can't believe
          this.  For like months you've been trying to convince me to do all
          these things I'd never dream of doing and now that I'm actually doing
          them, you're -- I mean, haven't you made out with guys in the boiler
          room like, hundreds of times?
Rayanne : So?
Angela  : So, are *they* controlling you?
Rayanne : No, because *I* am not *you*.  Because as I have stated a
          hundred times, I don't go getting my emotions involved.  I am they
          type of person who can handle -- the boiler room.  *You* -- are not.

Patty   : Well, goodbye, daddy.  Oh, tell mother thanks for the curtain
Chuck   : Whoa, you hear that?  Mighty squeaky floorboard there.  I'd look
          into that, if I were you.
Patty   : [low] Well, you're not me.
Chuck   : What's that you say?
Patty   : Nothing.  I'll look into it.
Chuck   : You hear, it's right about there.
Patty   : Uh-huh.
Chuck   : Hear that?
Patty   : Yeah, uh-huh.
Chuck   : Where's Mr. Fix-it tonight?
Patty   : He's taking a class.
Chuck   : Class?
Patty   : Mm-hm.
Chuck   : For what?
Patty   : Stocks, soups, and sauces -- it happens to be a very advanced
          class for very -- advanced cooks.
Chuck   : Don't give me that advanced crap.  He ought to be pulling his
Patty   : Dad, stop it.  This is a big step for Graham -- he happens to
          be at a turning point in his life and I support him a
          hundred percent. 
Chuck   : Turning point.  That's a hell of a notion.  You listen to me for a
          minute.  Stop throwing money away on some sauce class, and get one of
          those, what do you call them --
Patty   : Marriage counsellors?
Chuck   : No, no, uh, headhunter.  That's what you need -- someone to get
          him a job so he can stop spongeing of his wife.
Patty   : That's between me and Graham, okay, please?  You don't know all
          the particulars.
Chuck   : I'm your father.  *That's* the particulars.  And you deserve

Hallie  : Well -- this utterly sucks. [pause] I hate waiting.  My
          fiancee says I have the shortest attention span known to man. [she
          pulls out her huge purse and beings rummaging through it] Gum? Breath
Graham  : Uh, no.
Hallie  : Well, we're off to a swell start, aren't we?  The teacher
          being -- fourteen minutes late.  Hey -- doesn't this remind
          you of one of those Twilight Zone episodes?  You know --
          they think they've signed on for an ordinary cooking class,
          little do they know they'll be forced to make awkward
          conversation with thirteen strangers for all eternity.  No,
          wait, one of those human behavior experiments, to determine
          how long it takes till we turn into Lord of the Flies?  Hm. 
          [to the rest of the class] I say we give him five more minutes, then
          mutiny.  Take over the stove.  Are you with me? [blank stares] Um,
          maybe we should, um, all go around the room and say why we're here.
          Um.  I'll start.  Um.  My fiancee hates my cooking.  Now you know
          everything.  Next?

Patty   : Well?  So -- how was the class?
Graham  : Strange.
Patty   : Well, um, what do you mean strange?  You mean -- how was it?
Graham  : [rummaging through the refrigerator] Do we have any more of
          that spicy mustard?
Patty   : Did you feel like, um -- everyone was more experienced -- in
          the room, or something?
Graham  : Why would you assume that?
Patty   : No, I - I wasn't -- assuming anything.  I was just asking.
          Graham -- you -- it's okay if you hated it.  I mean, it-it would
          probably -- make more sense just to take the tuition money and use it
          to hire one of those headhunters, or something.
Graham  : What?  Where did that come from?
Patty   : Well, if the class isn't working out --
Graham  : Who said it wasn't working out?
Patty   : Nobody.

Graham  : He never showed. [Patty turns on the light]  We were all just
          sitting there waiting, and finally this kind of -- ah, loud woman
          started complaining, which is what broke the ice.  She had one of
          those flip phones in her purse -- she even had Stephan Dieter's
          assistant's number -- kind of obnoxious person who has
          everything.  So she calls him -- turns out Stephan Dieter
          had been rushed to the emergency room with food poisoning.
          It was supposedly not from his food -- from these -- tainted
          shrimp at some book signing. 
Patty   : Oh, my God.
Graham  : Then, this woman, the obnoxious one -- she, ah, got them to
          reschedule the class.  For Friday.
Patty   : How strange.

Shane   : Catalano.  In your own world much?  So, are you going to
          Buffalo Tom Friday?
Jordan  : Buffalo Tom?
Shane   : Yeah.  Tino found out that they're playing at Pike Street
          Friday night.  Like unannounced.
Jordan  : Yeah?
Shane   : Yeah, play like a set.
Jordan  : Sure, okay.
Shane   : Yeah, so.
Jordan  : So, Buffalo Tom.
Shane   : Okay.
Jordan  : Well, later.
Shane   : Oh, okay.  Well, later. [he leaves.  Jordan goes down the steps to
          where Angela is waiting]
Angela  : I have all this -- geometry.
Jordan  : I was hoping you'd be here.
Angela  : So, are you going to Buffalo Tom?
Jordan  : What?
Angela  : Buffalo Tom?  Didn't I hear that they were playing at Pike
          Street?  I mean, I think I heard that somewhere.
Jordan  : Uh, yeah, I'm going.  Why?
Angela  : No reason.

Rayanne : Rat it, spray it, tease it, freeze it --
Sharon  : Excuse me.  Have you *ever* been to a class?
Rayanne : Excuse *me*.  I was addressing myself.
Sharon  : Okay -- so -- what's the deal with Angela and Jordan Catalano?
Rayanne : Here's a thought -- ask her.
Sharon  : I can't.  She'll think I'm checking up on her.  So, are -- are
          they like a couple?
Rayanne : From the point of view of what I believe, or from what she
Sharon  : From the point of view of reality.
Rayanne : What do you think?
Sharon  : I'd have to say -- I think she could really get hurt here.
Rayanne : Tell me something I don't know.

Sharon  : [as Angela enters the bathroom] I know, that's the whole
Angela  : [to Sharon] Don't you have French this period?
Sharon  : Uh, you should talk.  How come you're never at geometry
Rayanne : Angelika --
Sharon  : Angela, we're like concerned, okay?
Angela  : Because I cut a few geometry reviews?  What, you two like
          discuss me now?
Sharon  : We don't discuss anything.  We're barely -- even friends.
Rayanne : [at the same time] -- even friends.  Are we friends?
Sharon  : No.
Angela  : Well, I'm not discussing Jordan Catalano.
Sharon  : Why not?  Why is he keeping you two a secret?
Angela  : How do you know he's keeping us a secret?
Sharon  : Rayanne told me.
Rayanne : Look, the only reason we talk like this is because *we* care
          about you.  When I was drinking and drugging, you wanted me
          to stop -- as my friend.
Angela  : Wait, you're comparing me making out with Jordan Catalano to
          you -- getting your stomach pumped?
Rayanne : You don't see the connection?
Sharon  : The connection is self-respect.
Rayanne : *Thank* you! [they high-five]
Sharon  : Angela, God, you know, the point is --
Rayanne : What -- who is he?  Who is he to treat you like this?
Sharon  : Yeah, what, like you're not *cool* enough for him to like be
          seen with you?
Rayanne : Exactly, and she's not slutty enough for him to just do with
          her ragged to his butt.
Sharon  : I mean, please, you like deserve like *so* much better.
Angela  : Just because he's not Kyle and he doesn't parade with me down
          the halls holding hands.
Rayanne : What is holding hands?  I don't get it.  What are hands?
          It's not even an erro-geenous zone.
Sharon  : Erogenous.  And it is to me.
Angela  : You're both wrong.  And if he doesn't want to be see with me,
          then why did he ask me to meet him Friday night at Pike Street?  To
          hear Buffalo Tom?  Not that I can even go, I mean, I have too much
          geometry -- 
Sharon  : Maybe I'll go.  I like Buffalo Tom. [they stare at her] What?
          I *do*.  You know, I am sick of being perfect.  I broke up with Kyle.
          I have a *total* right to screw up my midterms.
Rayanne : More like an obligation.  [to Angela as she leaves] I have to
          talk with you.

Renee   : Hi.
Katimsky: Oh, hi --
Renee   : It's Renee.
Katimsky: Oh, Renee, of course.  There's so many new names in one -- week.
Renee   : I just thought I'd say hi.
Katimsky: Well, go-ah, good.
Renee   : I mean, we never really got to finish our conversation, so --
          Well, not that we necessarily had to finish it, I just
          thought -- what a week, huh?  I'll be so glad when midterms
          are over.  So many of my kids are just -- sliding downhill.
          It's so discouraging.  I mean, you, you try to reach out, I
          mean really try, but when they don't take the next step,
          it's just so frustrating, you know? 
Katimsky: Would you excuse me?  For-for a moment? [he runs into the hall]
          Hey, Enrique!  [Rayanne and Rickie stop]  Where are you two supposed
          to be?
Rayanne : See, what happened was we were going to lunch, but first we
          had to stop by my locker --
Katimsky: Please, please, spare me the explanation.  Just get to the
Rayanne : Totally.
Katimsky: Oh, oh, would you be interesting in joining the drama club?
Rayanne : Would it get me out of anything?
Katimsky: I doubt it.  Okay, go to lunch.  See you, Enrique.
Rickie  : Uh, people don't call me Enrique, except like my grandmother,
          and she's dead.
Katimsky: Uh, okay.  I'll try to -- oh, imagine having a name like Enrique
          and not using it.  Gee whiz.  I'm an Enrique, too.  Sort of.  Well,
          ahh, Richard.  It's not quite the same thing.
Rickie  : No.  Uh, Richard would be Ricardo.
Katimsky: Oh, w-w - here's the sign-up sheet -- by the way, in case you
          want to sign up.  Did I talk to you?
Rickie  : Yes.
Katimsky: W-what did you say?
Rickie  : That I'm not interested?
Katimsky: Oh, well.  Maybe you'll change your mind.
Rickie  : I'm positive I won't.
Katimsky: Well, if you do, here's the sign-up sheet.  You don't have
          to answer right away -- you give it some thought. [he leaves]
Rickie  : Do you see what I'm saying?
Rayanne : I was kidding you.  Can't you take a joke?
Mary Ann: Renee?  What is it?
Renee   : I just made the biggest fool out of myself.

Rickie  : No, you don't understand.  He says "Gee whiz", and he won't
          stop with this drama club stuff.  He's driving me stark, raving mad!
Brian   : Did I tell you what Angela Chase asked me?
Rickie  : I cannot believe they let people like that teach.
Brian   : She asked me if I could come over tonight and explain congruent
          triangles to her.  So I said, "Do you know how long it's even been
          since I - I even *had* geometry?"  Then she like hands me
          her geometry book, like I'm supposed to supposedly review
          it, or something. 
Rickie  : He didn't even see the difference between Enrique and Ricardo!
Brian   : Who's Enrique and Ricardo?  I mean, look at all this work I
          have to do.  I mean, I could spend the entire weekend, like, like
          without meals -- even then, I probably couldn't get it all done.
Rickie  : I mean, they're two *completely* different names.
Brian   : I mean, I cannot believe what some people will ask other people
          to do.
Rickie  : So, you're not going?
Brian   : Well, I *might* stop by.  Just to kind of take a study break.

Hallie  : Go on, taste it.
Graham  : Is it -- ?
Hallie  : No, go on.
Graham  : Oh.
Hallie  : Don't take my word for it.
Graham  : Just it -- needs something.
Hallie  : Yeah, like -- a taste.  Say, I can't believe you know all that
          stuff about -- potage.  Where did you learn that -- France?
Graham  : No, it's just things you pick up.  You know, trial and error.
Hallie  : Yeah?  You're better than this class, that's for sure.  Say --
          what do we think of him?
Graham  : Stephan Dieter?
Hallie  : No, Rush Limbaugh.
Graham  : Well, I think, uh --
Hallie  : I mean, did you understand one word he was saying?  Through
          the entire class?
Graham  : Well, he *is* foreign.
Hallie  : Also drunk.  Which one do you think he's been longer?
Graham  : Shh -- you really think so?
Hallie  : Are you kidding me?  Look at that shnoz -- it's a broken
          capillary festival.  I'm telling you -- if he doesn't get it together
          I'm going to make such a stink.
Graham  : Really.
Hallie  : Would I kid you?  I mean, seriously, we deserve better.  I
          mean -- don't we?

Graham  : Man -- Stephan Dieter guy --
Patty   : What?
Graham  : Really hard to follow.
Patty   : What do you mean exactly?
Graham  : These are nice.  You actually made these?
Patty   : Yes.  Why do you sound so surprised?  Well -- what do you mean
          hard to follow?  In what way?
Graham  : I mean in the sense that when he speaks, it's hard.  To
Patty   : You mean for *you* to follow, or -- ?
Graham  : What did I just say?
Patty   : Well, no, I mean -- could *nobody* follow it, or -- ?
Graham  : Well, why would only I have problems following it?
Patty   : I don't know, I wasn't there.
Graham  : Why do you *do* this?
Patty   : Do *what*?  I just asked is it possible there are people in the
          class who *could* follow what he was saying.
Graham  : I'm going upstairs.  And for your information, he's a lush.
          He's a drunken lout.

Rayanne : See, I told you!  You just gotta put your thumb over the
Sharon  : They're even cuter than on their CD!  I *can't* believe I'm
          here.  I have like so much work to do.
Angela  : He's not here.
Sharon  : I mean, I have like three midterms next week.

Danielle: [to Brian] She went to hear Buffalo Tom.

Angela  : We may as well just leave.
Rayanne : I can't believe you want to leave already, just because you
          don't -- there he is. [across the room, Jordan and Shane are
          playing pool] 
Shane   : There's Rayanne Graff and that weird girl she always hangs out
          with. [Jordan glances in their direction, continues playing]
Angela  : He doesn't seem like he saw me.  He's busy.  I - I'm not even
          gonna -- 
Sharon  : What?  Forget busy.  I mean, he asked you to meet him here,
Rayanne : I mean, why isn't he like coming to you?
Angela  : Because -- he doesn't -- see me.  He's like -- busy.
Rayanne : Will you just go over there?  Please?   Just go.
Sharon  : I mean, really! *Really*. [Angela walks over to Jordan]
Angela  : Hi.
Jordan  : Hi.  [starts to shoot] Uh, you're kinda crowding me. [Angela
          waits, then turns and leaves]
Sharon  : Angela!  Angela, wait! [she chases after Angela.  Rayanne
          approaches Jordan and Shane]
Shane   : Hey, Graff, wanna play?
Rayanne : Shut up. [to Jordan] You know you like her -- would it kill
          you to admit it, maybe treat her halfway decent?  Because you know,
          she deserves it.  And she's not gonna wait around for you
          forever. [she leaves]
Shane   : Man, they're like weird.  Both of them.

Angela  : There's something about Sunday night that *really* makes you
          want to kill yourself, especially if you've been totally made a fool
          of, by the only person you'll ever love, and you have a geometry
          midterm on Monday, which you still haven't studied for, because you
          can't, because Brian Krakow has your textbook, and you're too
          embarrassed to even deal with it.  And your little sister's
          completely finished with *her* homework, which is just --
          like so simple and mindless a child could do it.
Danielle: Mom, Dad, I finished my report on crustaceans.
Angela  : And that creepy 60 Minutes watch that sounds like your whole
          life ticking away.
Patty   : Daddy's at his cooking class, honey.  Ah.  Oh.  Look, Angela,
          did you see the wonderful report that Danielle did?
Angela  : Mm-hm.

Graham  : [noticing Hallie staring at him] Well, what can I say?
Hallie  : Nothing.  Uh. [to class] There is *nothing* to say. [to
          Graham]  Listen, um, could I ask you a question?
Graham  : Sure.
Hallie  : It's about risotto.

Patty   : Hey, don't you have your geometry midterm tomorrow?
Angela  : Yeah.
Patty   : Well, do you feel prepared?
Angela  : Uh-huh -- I think I'm gonna call Brian Krakow.  Maybe we can
          quiz each other, or something.
Patty   : Angela, that's a really wonderful idea.  Really.  I'm so proud
          of you.  I'm so *grateful* that you didn't inherit my math block.  I
          was always so terrible at -- in math and it nearly affected my entire
          life and I was *always* afraid that I'd pass it down to you
          girls like a bad chromosome.
Angela  : Well, you didn't.
Patty   : Thank God.

Brian   : I don't believe you.
Angela  : I know.
Brian   : You're in some kind of dream world, or something that revolves
          around you.  You have like no concept of anybody else's life --
Angela  : I *know*.
Brian   : You couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure I'm under.  You
          think you're under pressure?  You?  That is *so* like laughable.
Angela  : Brian, you are completely right, okay, but could you just
          please explain geometry to me anyway?
Brian   : You think I care?  You could not possibly conceive of how much
          studying I have to do tonight!  Have you ever even heard of calculus?
          Geometry is a paid vacation compared to calculus.  Okay?  I mean, do
          you like realize the pressure on a person when it's like assumed that
          they will always get As?  Hey, Brian, pull another A?  That Brian, he
          always gets an A.  You have the option of insanity.  I do not.  And
          that -- makes me crazy! [Graham enters] Hi.  I have to leave.  I'm -
          I'm leaving.
Graham  : Goodbye.
Patty   : Did Brian Krakow leave already?  Oh, you're home.
Angela  : I have to study.
Patty   : So?
Graham  : Uh, Stephan Dieter won't be teaching for a while.  He's in
          some -- rehab in Idaho getting deglazed.
Patty   : Graham, I'm sorry.  I'm truly sorry.
Graham  : For what?
Patty   : Come on, don't *do* this.  Don't stay in the class just to
          spite me.
Graham  : What?
Patty   : Please, this was *my* idea, I -- forced you into it and
          obviously it's turned out to be a total -- and complete -- waste of
          time.  So, um -- I was wrong, okay?  I've learned -- my lesson, okay?
          Just -- *quit* the wretched class.  I swear I'll never suggest taking
          another class as long as -- either of us live.
Graham  : They want me to *teach* the class.
Patty   : What?  Are you kidding, or -- ?
Graham  : We're all just sitting there, it's become nightmarishly clear
          that he's not going to show -- again, and I'm thinking, God, this has
          been the stupidest week of my life, and of course, this woman --
Patty   : The loud obnoxious one?
Graham  : She's going on and on about how she -- um, tried to make
          risotto for her fiancee and it turned out to be this big disaster, so
          I started telling her why, and pretty soon -- everyone's asking
          questions and like writing down why I'm saying, and suddenly this
          woman says, uh, you know, you are so much easier to follow than
          Stephan Dieter -- *you* should teach this class.  So I wait for
          everyone to laugh -- and -- no one laughed.
Patty   : Well, that -- that's wonderful.
Graham  : Why do you sound like that?
Patty   : Like what?  No, no, I -- it's wonderful, it is, I-I'm just
          surprised.  I -- Can't I be surprised?  I mean -- aren't you
Graham  : Yes, very.  Oh, I'm gonna do it, though.  I just -- uh - I
          wouldn't mind it if one of us wasn't quite so surprised.

Angela  : The truly terrifying thing, is that even after everything had
          happened, Jordan Catalano left a note in my locker to meet him in the
          boiler room.  The nauseating part is that I went. [Jordan enters, and
          begins to kiss her.  To Jordan] Don't say hello, or anything.
Jordan  : Hello --
Angela  : I can't believe I came here.  Why did you ask me to come here?
          [Jordan stares at her] Why are you like this?
Jordan  : Like what?
Angela  : Like how you are?
Jordan  : So leave. [Angela gathers her things, starts to walk away,
          then stops]
Angela  : Admit it first.
Jordan  : Admit what?
Angela  : That all of this happened.  That you have emotions.  That you
          can't like -- treat me one way in from of your friends and the next
          minute leave me some note. [He still does not answer] And by the way,
          I spell my name with one L.

Katimsky: My mistress's eyes are nothing like the sun/Coral is far
          more red than her lips' red/If snow be white, why then her
          breasts are dun/If hair be wires, black wires grow on her
          head/I have seen roses damasked, red and white/ But no such
          roses see I in her cheeks/And in some perfumes there is more
          delight/Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks/I
          love to hear her speak, yet well I know/That music hath a
          far more pleasing sound/I grant I never saw a goddess go/My 
          mistress when she walks treads on the ground/And yet, by heaven, I
          think my love as rare/As any she belied with false compare.
          What kind of girl is Shakespeare describing here?  Is she,
          is she the most beautiful girl?
Brian   : No.
Katimsky: Is she a goddess?  Physically perfect?  The kind of girl who -- uh
          -- stops traffic?  When she walks down the street?
Brian   : No.
Katimsky: So he's -- not in love with her?
Jordan  : Yeah.  He is.
Katimsky: Well, why is that?  Why is he in love with her?
Brian   : She's not just a fantasy.  She's got like -- flaws.  She's
Katimsky: Thank you.

Angela  : Please, God, I know I've cut English, and done a million other
          terrible things, including not even completely believing in you, but
          please, please help me to pass this midterm.  Oh, God, who am I
          kidding?  It's too late.  It's over. [to Abyssinia] You have Miss
          Lerner, right?  For geometry?
Aby     : So?
Angela  : Nothing.  I just didn't study at all.
Aby     : Me neither.
Angela  : Yeah, but I really need it.  I might just skip the midterm.  I
          mean, I'm gonna flunk it anyway.
Aby     : Yeah, well, just may skip it myself.  Sick of being the little
          schoolgirl.  It's just not worth it.
Angela  : Why did I let this happen?  I've totally blown it.  Why does
          he have this, like, power over me?
Aby     : I haven't cut a midterm in a real long time.

Aby     : [bell rings] And if the two parallel lines are cut by a
          transversal, then what?
Angela  : The angles are congruent.
Aby     : That's it! That was the bell.  We'd better get out of here.  I
          mean, we should take the test.  It'd be dumb to skip it.
Sharon  : Did you hear?  The copy machine ate our geometry midterm!
          It's been postponed until tomorrow! [Abyssinia, Angela
          scream and hug] 
          Okay, so Lerner's having another review session this afternoon.
Angela  : Oh, well, I'll definitely be there.
Aby     : Not me.  I don't need it.

Katimsky: [checking the sign-up sheet] Ah!  Oh!
Rickie  : Rayanne, get over here --
Katimsky: Enrique --
Rayanne : Later.
Rickie  : Rayanne, wait!
Katimsky: Gee whiz, I was just thinking about you.
Rickie  : Why are you doing this?
Katimsky: Pardon?
Rickie  : This is not something I am gonna do.  I'm not the sort of
          person who joins things, okay?
Katimsky: I'm really sorry, but no, that's not okay.
Rickie  : What?
Katimsky: Well, I mean, come on, I'm a teacher.  How do you expect me to
          react to a ridiculous statement like that -- you don't join things?
          Who are you, Groucho Marx -- you'd never belong to any club
          that would have you as a member?
Rickie  : What?
Katimsky: Look, what is holding you back here?  That I'm not cool enough?
          Don't let the fact that your English teacher is a dork stop you from
          fulfilling your potential.  Just pretend -- that I'm a track
          coach.  I happen to notice that you can run fast.   I need
          you on my team!  It's as simple as that, Enrique.
Rickie  : Stop calling me that!  Why are you calling me that?
Katimsky: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  I keep forgetting.  It's just, it's just --
          gee whiz, it's such a great name.  When I was in high school, I hated
          my name.  I hated it.
Rickie  : I don't -- hate my name, I-I just --
Katimsky: Oh, oh good.  I'm really glad.  No-nobody should -- hate who they
          are. [Katimsky leaves, Rickie signs "Enrique Vasquez" on the signup
          sheet.  Rickie, Rayanne, and Angela are at the lockers.  Jordan
Jordan  : [to Angela] Can we -- like go somewhere?
Angela  : Sure. [as they walk away, Jordan takes her hand]
Sharon  : Angela, wait!  Don't forget -- the geometry review.
Rayanne : Forget it.  She already did.